Good Morning

- So much for the come back huh? Ahhh how we start out with the best intentions, and more often then not when it's a promise I've made to myself I break it easily.
But here I am, trying to "nourish my inner twinkle".
I've purchased a book by Brook Noel titled, Good Morning. It is full of 365 inspirational messages for every day of the year. I thought perhaps since my day is usually guided by my morning it wouldn't hurt to try to start things out positively.
My mornings are typically spent trying to stay calm as I get ready, half asleep with a 19 month old toddler screaming at me to hold him. In a frazzled rush I take a shower, with him peeking in the curtain sometimes throwing clean laundry I've folded into the shower so that I must dry it again.
I put my make-up on while he sits on my dresser insisting I give him more mousse to run through his hair.
He screams at me while I dry my hair because he doesn't like the blow dryer and then he screams some more because I can't hold him while I try to get dressed. Lovely way to start the morning.
I then wake my 11 year old up, who takes FOREVER to stir. He's so at that age. And, I take the baby in to get dressed which is an event in itself.
Typically, by the time I'm leaving the house (on time) I have to turn around and go back into the house 3 more times for things I've forgotten (causing me to now be late).
I bought the book and thought, when will I have time to start my morning with this thing? There's no way. But, wait. Hope. I typically arrive at my place of work 10 minutes before the hustle and bustle. 10 minutes before everyone rushes in and needs something. 10 minutes of peace.... and quiet.... away from my children..... before the stress starts. The perfect opportunity to read my quote for the day and ponder it the way it should be pondered.
I read the first quote and was instantly inpired to start my blog again. A basic, Make time for You, quote it was.
I logged on that night, and wrote the Come Back. I felt great! This was going to be a really good thing for me.
Then, something crazy happened. I found my 10 minutes at working to be slipping slowly by. I would read e-mails first and get sucked in before I read my "Good Morning".
Needless to say, I began beating myself up and feeling very guilty about wanting to blog about this book, spending the money, and then not making the time to read it.
So today I thought..... when it becomes another task to get done, it isn't helping anymore. Who cares if I have to miss some of the Good Mornings? I'll read them again next year. So this morning, I didn't get to read my quote. But I came home, I just put my toddler to bed. The eleven year old is watching a movie, and I found myself with some time. I read my quote now, and it was just as effective. I decided I wanted to blog about it. I ended up writing this explanation for what was going on.
Am I going to blog about the quote? Not tonight. I needed to get this down. I feel better. Now I'm tired. So this is enough. And I'm fine with that. I'll blog tomorrow's quote... Perhaps.

The Comeback, maybe

So here I am returning to my blog that I haven't touched in what? Like two years? I contemplated getting rid of it since I never use it anymore, but I want to be able to use it so badly that I couldn't. Two days ago I started this blog... in the same way. Saying how I was glad to be back, finding 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to myself between the howling demands of my 19 month old and sassy backtalk from my 11 year old. Snickering at the idea that the only time I could actually find 20 minutes of uninterrupted 'me' time was at work. I rambled on writing something that I found quite amusing and then... in no time at all things became hectic, duties called and I closed the post without saving it.
I was pissed. And honestly, thought 'I hate this fucking blog'. Of course I should realize I am never going to have time for it.
I'm attempting once again, this evening in my home, to rekindle my love for blogging. Not really so much blogging, but writing down all my thoughts and opinions secretly hoping someday someone will discover it and I will have my own little blog posse. Deep down I know it won't happen but the release I feel of pent up tension when I write is not only good for my health, but good for the health of those around me.
I make my feeble attempt here. Sitting on my sofa at home, in comfy pajamma pants, a Twilight Hoodie ( yes I'm an addict) and snow man slippers. I also have a glass of wine, red... albeit not in the proper glass. I grabbed a juice cup frhe cabinet, poured the wine and plopped myself down. So I'll take this slowly, see how it goes, and see if I can squeeze enough time into my life for me that I can blog again.